Use My Arsehole as a Cunt (The Nick Clegg Story) Songtext
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I wanted to be Prime Minister for my career progression
'Cos Gordon Brown had led us down into a big recession
The public went and voted but my party came in third
And I was left hanging around like an unwanted turd
But then I got a phone call from David Cameron
He said "Nick, I can help you get into government
But there's one condition behind this coalition
You'll have to bend over, pull your cheeks apart and spread"
I mulled it over carefully, and this is what I said:
'Cos Gordon Brown had led us down into a big recession
The public went and voted but my party came in third
And I was left hanging around like an unwanted turd
But then I got a phone call from David Cameron
He said "Nick, I can help you get into government
But there's one condition behind this coalition
You'll have to bend over, pull your cheeks apart and spread"
I mulled it over carefully, and this is what I said:
"Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse"
I started feeling guilty as if I'd sold my soul
As one by one my policies got shafted up my hole
Before I knew it, there I was, agreeing with the cuts
As he thrust the Tory policies in right up to the nuts
Then one day he turned up, with his mate George O
He said "I didn't think you'd mind if he had a little go"
So I just bent over and took it on my knees
I went back on my promises to scrap tuition fees
At least I'm not the only one getting shafted if we're charging students these
Go on then, just this once Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Come on, insert your glory
Make me feel like a Tory
We'll go back on our election pledge
If you nudge that peanut on my ledge
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse...hole
As a cunt
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse"
I started feeling guilty as if I'd sold my soul
As one by one my policies got shafted up my hole
Before I knew it, there I was, agreeing with the cuts
As he thrust the Tory policies in right up to the nuts
Then one day he turned up, with his mate George O
He said "I didn't think you'd mind if he had a little go"
So I just bent over and took it on my knees
I went back on my promises to scrap tuition fees
At least I'm not the only one getting shafted if we're charging students these
Go on then, just this once Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Come on, insert your glory
Make me feel like a Tory
We'll go back on our election pledge
If you nudge that peanut on my ledge
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse...hole
As a cunt
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