The Pied Piper of Maidenhead Songtext

Drinking all kinds of hooch,
I look around for potential game,
Two girls in pink track suits,
At 3 a.m. still handing out,
But now completely done,
So I saddle up with my baby face,
A spliff and a bottle of rum,

Tipsy girls is what I want,
But if it's boys well that's okay too,
I just give 'em a drink,
A puff of sliff and say I'm just like you,

Teen teen teen,
Teen sweet,
Teen teen teen,
Teen sweet,
Teen teen teen,
Teen dream,
Teen teen teen, Teen dream,

I think I'm right for the drunkest girl,
But sometimes I draw the line,
If she's really ugly,
It doesn't matter how much wine,
The drunken girls are easy,
Puts them in their natural state,
It makes them kiss me wantingly,
Not like on some bad date,

Usually we go under the bridge,
But tonight it's the woodland park,
But an alleyway is just as good,
Or some plush cunt's backyard,
I take the girl by her clowny hand,
Lead her to someplace near,
I kiss her on her drunken lips,
And whisper in her ear,
I push her back on the wooden bench,
Pull her pink bottoms down,
In for a penny, my mother'd say,
In for a fucking pound,

Teen teen teen,
Teen dream,
Teen teen teen,
Teen dream,
Teen teen teen,
Teen sweet,
Teen teen teen,
Teen sweet,

Now sometimes I wear protection,
Sometimes I don't do that,
These girls aren't quite yet old enough,
To have anything that bad,
Now most they say they are 16,
Who am I to say they're not,
Now the ones who aren't,
I do not touch unless she's really hot,

She's so drunk that in the morning,
She won't remember me,
But if she does the no matter,
She does this willingly,
Often we don't meet again,
There's lots of teens round here,

But if we do then "Alright," "Okay,"
"What's new?" "I guess, I'll see ya,"
Parents don't you worry,
This is the natural way,
Compared to rapes or other beasts,
This is just child's play,
Compared to rapes or other beasts,
This is just child's play,
Compared to rapes or other beasts,
This is just child's play,