The Ballad of El Justin Songtext

Mattress Sale

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The Ballad of El Justin Songtext
(What about that time you got a tattoo?)
Oh you mean the full arm tattoo that cost me 24 hundred dollars and I didn't tell my parents about it until they saw it on facebook?
(Yeah)
Oh, well let me sing you a little ballad about this

The only way I know
To express myself
Is with a lot of ink
On my right forearm
I hear that that's the gay forearm
But no one ever told me that
Before it was permanent

And now I'm scarred
Feathered and tarred
And that's all that I can do

And my mom came in
From wherever she was
Jamaica I assume
Jamaica I assume

And she said to me, Hey Justin
What's that tattoo?

Justin what's that tattoo all about?
Why you got these skulls cussing a priest out?
And all these snakes penetrating all the sockets in the skulls and breathing fire?
And all these naked mermaids, coasting on the rocks? I think you have a problem
I knitted you some socks
And that's why I came to visit today
Just to see if you're okay
Just to see if you need me

Justin
I have called this intervention to see what's wrong with you
Now I heard only queers like having needles in their skin
Only queers like having needles in their
Justin I have called this intervention just to say
I think that you are gay
Your dad thinks you're gay
And everyone thinks you're gay
So I have this box of dildos
To give to you

To protect you from all of the gay sex
Cuz I think that gives you aids
I think that gives you aids
I think that gives you aids
Pretty sure that gives you aids

I don't like aids! I don't want aids!
(it hurts!)

So thank you mom for all of your help
Protecting me! And most of all looking out for my health!
Thank you mom! Thank you mom for my health!
Looking out for my well being!
Thank you mom! Thank you mom for my health!
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