Nate and S.J. Songtext

you kicking my ass in halo
and me stealing your dr. peppers

and i remember finding sj's hairs in every surface everywhere
they were falling out like she was post menopausal
and i don't remember finding her used tampons in the trash
not that i looked
yeah she was post menopausal
and she used to mock me
with what i did with my life and i'd say
hey girl, i'm still in college, what are you doing?
cuz you're dating a guy who is my age and he's gone to school just the same amount of time
and you're some professor wannabe
so sj, ess a dee
nate's probably, not me
cuz i don't wanna be guilty about you losing your teeth

(laughter)

so he came downstairs, this nate guy, when i ever had friends over he'd come downstairs and see just if i had any pretty girls with me
wooha, i sometimes did
and if these girls existed, he'd go upstairs and remove his shirt
show of his chest hair, all three hairs, curly and so perky
(he did that)

and if i remember correctly he had this red bathrobe he'd put on
and have half open
(you could see his dong)
you couldn't see his dong cuz he always wore boxers
but he had this full bar downstairs in our basement
all these bottles of booze that were bought by him for the aforementioned SJ
and he would pour us drinks any time we had pretty girls over
or even moderately pretty
or slightly pretty
or ugly

so we'd always invite girls over whenever we wanted to drink
and knew nate would be there
cuz then he'd open his liquor cabinet
and i'd say

nate, you can ess a dee
i know those words are a recurring theme
everyone in college can ess a dee
and they probably did
cuz that's the time to experiment
that's when it's okay
you've gotta find out if you are or are not gay

let me hear ya now
harmonica
harmonica