MPreg Songtext

Was get away from Vernon
Petunia and Dudley
And I did. Amen
All I needed to do
Was expose Draco Malfoy
I knew he was scheming
That Slytherin boy

But then one day for some unknown reason
I found myself strangely attracted to
That blond-haired ferret in the silver-green house
He's a Quidditch Seeker like me, too

We danced around
Each other for weeks
Until one day our lips
Found the one our heart seeks
We danced around
Grew closer together
Shared our hearts and our minds Could this be forever

We snuck around
The halls of Hogwarts
Finding new places
To shag or just cavort
We snuck around
To the Hospital Wing
Because something had happened
How could such a thing?

Madam Pomfrey sat us down in her office
She told us she couldn't explain it just right
Somehow our intimate activities
Had led to consequences of more than one night

What the hell is going on?
How the hell could this happen at all
He's a boy, I'm a boy, this is ridiculous
Whose bright idea was this?

What the hell is going on
Biologically, this isn't even possible!
(Except of course in that stupid film Junior)
Who on those fanfic sites came up with this?

So Draco and I
We settled down
Dropped out of school
Gave up our Quidditch
So Draco and I
Despite common wisdom
Got jobs in retail
Trust me, it's a bitch

Now we are three
Don't ask me just how
This stuff doesn't happen
Even magically
Now we are three
Thanks to someone's writing
These ridiculous stories
Come now... really...

Who in their right mind could come up with M-Preg?
The one thing that makes fanfic too hard to believe
Not that it's not already quite out there
But there's just one problem - guys can't conceive!

Who in their right mind could come up with M-Preg?
The one thing that makes fanfic too hard to believe
Not that it's not already quite out there
But there's just one problem - guys can't conceive!