Chubby's Twelve Days Of Christmas Songtext

On the third day of christmas I had my head between her legs

With my tounge I tried to fertilise her eggs



On the forth day of christmas her pubes were up me nose

By now you'll think I'm sex mad I suppose



First she sucked me dick

Kissed me bollocks too

Pubes were up me nose
I said "mind me cartilage, me pins are in my bare knee"



On the fifth day of christmas I stopped for a pause

I noticed these big skid marks on her draws



On the sixth day of christmas I thought She's very loose

Too late, my tounge was soaked in fanny juice



On the seventh day of christmas I was staring at this lass

Well I was staring at this paper stuck to her arse



On the eighth day of christmas I started to feel ill

On the paper it said Newcastle had lost two-nill



First she sucked me dick

Kissed me bollocks too

Pubes were up me nose

Skid marks on her draws

She stunk of fanny juice

Newspaper on her arse

I started to feel ill

To part a fart and lick a hairy place where the girls pee



On the ninth day of christmas, I'd been shagging for eight days

I must have fucked this girl a thousand different ways



On the tenth day of christmas without being too blunt

To be honest I'd had enough of her large cunt



On the eleventh day of christmas i went to see the quack

He said "my dear boy you've been licking too much crack"



First she sucked me dick

Kissed me bollocks too

Pubes were up me nose

Skid marks on her draws

Stunk of fanny juice

Newspaper on her arse

I started to feel ill

I'd been shagging for eight days

It's blunt to mention cunt

I'd been licking too much crack

But now my tart's frigid and that's a reality



On the twelfth day of christmas, found out she'd given me AIDS