Babe Ruth vs. Lance Armstrong Songtext

Epic Rap Battles of History

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Babe Ruth vs. Lance Armstrong Songtext
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
BABE RUTH!
VERSUS!
LANCE ARMSTRONG!
BEGIN!

Lance:
Before I let loose with this ruthless aggression
Ill let you be the second fat woman hearing my confession
I admit it! I did what I had to do to win!
Im an athlete! You're a specimen of sin
With your drinking and smoking and choking down food
I know french dudes with better manners than you
So swing batter batter show me what a fatter rapper can do
I beat Cancer! I can sure as hell crack you

Babe:
You lived strong! Beat Cancer!? Congratulations!
Now ill drop your ass faster than your own foundation!
Third base with an Olsen twin! Thats a sin, face it!
She's just a little girl! What? Did ya give her a bracelet?
The whole nation knows you ride too tight in the crotch
Your as boring as the Tour De France is to watch!
So come on, little buddy! Dont look so pissed!
With all that blood and attitude you're like a menstrual cyclist!

Lance:
You set records before black men could compete! Are you kidding me?!
Thats like having a pasta contest without Italy!
Your an orphan who found his way to fortune and fame But think what you could have done if you had actually trained!
Im the Pinnacle of physical condition!
While you dip your stick in prostitutes and call it foul tippin! Are you trippin'? You'll be nothing but a skeleton!
Messing with the fellow in yellow who'll be pedaling like hell up in the Peloton!

Babe:
Its the bottom of the ninth against a texan in a bathing suit
Filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth
It may be way too soon but im calling my shot
And im not talking about those Italian syringes you bought!
The sultan of swat will knock you right out of the park!
And 'round the bases to the sound of uproaring applause!
While you hang your head in shame and disgrace because
You got lost and forgot what real sportsmanship was!
You look tired, kid, ya got Sheryl Crow's feet eyes
Pedal home to France and maybe bring me back some fries!
'Cause if you step to the Ruth on the mic ill fan your fancy bike and all
YOU'RE OUT! With three strikes, but just one ball!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES *Clap* *Clap* *Clap* *Clap* *Clap* *Clap* OF HISTORY!