Richard III Songtext

Every word is a lie
So I'm singing this song
'Cause the history books
Have been telling it wrong!

Never had a limp
Always walked my full height
Never had a hump
And my arm was all right

Never took the crown
With illegal power
Never killed my nephews
The Princes in the Tower

Tudor propaganda
It's all absurd...
Time to tell the truth
About King Richard III...
My brother Edward died
His kids too young to rule
So I took the throne
Why not, I'm nobody's fool!

Thomas Moore wrote a history
Said I'd murdered Edward's boys
Shakespeare said their death
Was an evil ploy

But I say those two
Are historical vandals
They've ruined my image
I mean, what a scandal!

Never bumped off those
Harmless young heirs
Never buried them under
The Tower of London stairs

Never poisoned my wife
Bumped off her daddy
This is me, sweet Richard
Do I look like a baddie?

Never was two faced
Sure you'll agree...
I was misunderstood
King Richard three...

Can you imagine it?
I'm the last Plantagenet
Beaten by Henry
In the War of the Roses

The Tudor dynasty
Didn't care that much for me
Now I'm painted as a baddie
That's what I'm supposed

Never forget when
You hear of my crimes
Never drowned my brother
In a massive vat of wine!

Never said "A horse!
My kingdom for a horse!"
Who made that up?
Why, William Shakespeare, of course!

Now my tale is told
You won't hear a bad word...
About a special ruler
King Richard III...