No One's Living Songtext

Fast Forward slows down to play but this ain´t no game. Except the shit in my brain in my head nothing remains the same around me. Insane thoughts caught me once. My mind´s captured in endless loops, can´t help to blow a fuse. Back in the days, I thought I was a roughneck but now I´m wrecked. All types of B-movies become real in my head. My memory, please, won´t you let me and let in some light to guide me out of my past brighten this nightlike darkness inside. Held prisoner in my braincells, take a glance through my eyelense, images of memorized violence. You could never fathom the dephts that I´ve been in and you would never believe in the things I´ve seen, that can´t be seen. In words: taking heads to the kerb, it hits, it hurts, it bursts. Death passes so slowly, it´s the first day of birth. Eye to eye with the beast through a mist of blood. I fall my fist clenched strange how life could change this fast and you see how fragile it is. Take care of my soul, my little sister I swear without you I wouldn´t be here. You know it: I did not exagerate, when I said it an emotional ghetto in the heart I got it. Shit! I know that it would have been the same, even if I ate tons of Prozac. It´s hard to keep my head up, frustated. Maimed, but shame I feel the same, what is Pain? Restrain this self-pitty Reality´s: life´s dangerous and deadly. You´ll remember me when you´re fucked up and you´re lost. I can´t stop the teardrops from falling. So if you see me, don´t smile. I got a hotline to hell, triple six is what I will dial. Back is the devil, coming for my ass downstairs in my nightmares but who dares to stop him and who can and who cares if I lose my soul. Trying not to fall, but after all I lose hold, trip and lose the control. "No one´s living the life that I live." I gotcha Nightmares I capture on paper and tape in rapture. Writing means danger to me, can´t help going insane. Yo I don´t know it anymore have my thoughts also been there before or are they second hand implants I forced to grow. Somehow imagination runs amok as I self destruct. Visions so vivid ... I´m getting drugged up on bad luck. There´s no protection to save me, no self deception. While I´m trying to relax, I´m attacked by flashbacks. Conflicts I seek or create myself because I´m sick, it´s like celebrating self-hatred in my lyrics. Trying to flee by encoding obscure semetary poetry though I know this ain´t a remedy. Resignation is daily suicide. No one can tell me what it´like to take life, to lose life. First I denied and tried to hide thoughts like this when I write. They´re coming to me, they´ve allways been common to me. The bottom of despair, that´s where I come from. I´ve been told to look towards the positive. Ey, son, what can it give me, living in the haste of our days it all seems to me like emotional waste. I rap shit, quickness I inflict because I´m angry. Evil seeds and a monster´s breed I carry inside. Bury my hopes and bury my pride, lower my sights. Don´t get it wrong, I´m not afraid to fight. I don´t fear death don´t even fear life. I got a bloody phantasy making all your demons envious and crazy. Still I don´t get it why I´m such a maniac, maybe it´s because when you die, sometimes you come back.