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Stood here minding my own business Good company and a quality pint of Guinness When suddenly here comes a stranger With an opinion or two He does not understand the danger Of the proverbial ice that he sways on But effortlessly he encapsulates all that's annoying I'm talking to a titanic dick Oh, how I'd love to kick Into a song that would make him sick A chorus that could fool him into thinking this song's about no-one in particular But it is I hope he's not here 'cause he's a dick A self-obsessed, non-fictitious dick So about the time I bumped into him at the bar He rudely discussed my family and blah blah blah He told me I should get a real job I wondered what that was (Nine to five until you die) I also pondered what on earth his name was I recognised his sly, bulbous features I asked the drunken preacher his name quick While sipping on my hard-earned drink And he revealed he was a complete and utter dick It sounds harsh but he was a dick SongtexteThe world's biggest royal dick I feel sorry for his missus It probably pisses her off that she kisses that thing daily Can't emphasise enough the guy is an absolute dick Like a magician without the magic tricks The third verse won't try to be cryptic No metaphors or quaint hieroglyphics That way I may just accentuate How much you're not my mate But I guess it'll just have to wait 'Cause I can't find the words Like the dodos couldn't find the rest of the birds I know that this sounds absurd But rest assured you will not be leaving empty-handed Now here's your award Congratulations, you're the world's biggest Congratulations, you're the world's biggest Congratulations, you're the world's biggest Congratulations, you're the world's biggest dick Aus Songtexte Mania