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England! England! Let's have a wank for England! England! England! Let's have a wank for England! My grandad told me a story Back in Euro '96 Before every single England game He wanked his hairy prick And to this day he still maintains He stops us getting knocked out But he forgot before the semi's And we lost on penalties to the Krauts So, this year before the qualifiers I gave my cock a feel Before I knew it, we'd beat Israel And Russia and Estonia 3-nil But despite my constant fondling Of my lucky erection Even that couldn't compensate For McClaren's poxy team selection So, we didn't qualify for the Euro champs Because McClaren tried to shoehorn in Gerrard and Lamps So I won't get to wank my hairy peepy like my Gramps SongtexteTo help us win the cup for England I've had my last wank I've had my last wank I've had my last wank for England Carson wasn't right and 4-5-1 was shite So I've had my last wank for England Now while Baddiel and Skinner Sang about 30 years of hurt My Grandad wanked his cock off With his finger up his dinky dirt And in those days before we'd even heard of meta-tarsels My old Grandad multi-tasked His front bum and his arsehole And I was hoping I would get To uphold the tradition And wank for luck To help us progress in the competition But McClaren's ineptitude Has left us high and dry So the only little wank I'll have Is with a little cry So, we didn't qualify for the Euro champs Because Steve McClaren fucked the team selection up So I'm not gonna try and make my flaccid knob spunk up 'Cause I've had my last wank for England I've had my last wank I've had my last wank I've had my last wank for England We played really wank He shouldn't have brought back Frank He should've have stuck with Gerrard and Barry Aus Songtexte Mania