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Dead, men, tell no tales Up push the daisies 'till the soil is stale In a powder blue tux for the farmer's sail Mister big sleep with the carp and kale Once upon a time in the days of yore When the people lived fresh in the legend of folk lore There was an old pirate who followed a vile slang Had a bird perched on him, and swashbuckled the same Peg leg navigated starboard to port By the nautical starry night yellin' the harbor is yours You should tell him where you situate the gold That is unless you'd like a vacation with Davey J-J-J-Jones Like walk the plank, for whom the shark bank Maroon the mutineers, consume the souvenirs And while the shiny spoils piled higher every year He was suffocating slow in the box of a buccaneer Ten summers prior on a night like this Crows nest saw something that float to the boats west Sword blew him a kiss, and when he focused Seen the face of an angel upon the body of a F-F-F-Fish. What the heck! Frazzled, his telescope shattered, gathered himself She was ghost, he was down the rope ladder to deck Circled the vessel 360, swiftly SongtexteFound nothing in the water but salt, piss, and whiskey Yargh, heckled by the Swabies at the bar He'll be the laughing stock of the Barbary Coast War Like "This dude either got two glass eyes Or he's wearin' his patch on the wrong S-S-S-Side" Now he knew what he saw, but had to prove he was raw So he raped and he pillaged and he'd feud any brawl Tried to rekindle his rep via sabers and gun smoke And vowed he'd go and find her, though he never told his cutthroats Meanwhile, back in the now, Got a brand new skeleton crew on the move now When they aren't manning thirty burning cannons stern and bow They are prying shiny metals out your M-M-M-Mouth Okay, youth wanes, old age ushers in disease like the scurvy made his yellow gums bleed And he was achy from his boots to the feather in his hat 'Till his quartermaster showed up with a stolen treasure map One look down and leaped off the dock See if you can guess where X marked the spot The capital was buried at sea in a cursed cave Only one mile away he seen the M-M-M-Mermaid Anchors up, hoist, push the jolly roger way too much Day and night with his hook hands raised and clutched But see, the vitamin deficiency was strong So by the time they bumped into the island, he could barely lift his rock (?) Crawled off the boat, collapsed in the sand Prayers in the air, seashells in his hands An area high tide so grand It's the one that put the lady of the lake on dry L-L-L-Land And I wish I could tell you that it ended happy Pretend like his bones weren't practically snapping Pretend like her gills didn't dry up and suffer But that's a half dead pirate and a fish out of water No lie, scouts honor, got a million more From the burgundy lining above the shores of whores Before your visions of grandeur go to swell those sails, Remember dead men tell no T-T-T-Tales. Dead, men, tell no tales Up push the daisies 'till the soil is stale In a powder blue tux for the farmer's sail Mister big sleep with the carp and kale Aus Songtexte Mania