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The feeling of destroying the capacity for inward peace, an insane dance with the angels of innocence amidst thorns and in frenzy, the warmth of a divine blessing, a daringness which prevailed over any imaginable fear hovering on the brink of a voluntary act of contrition, but soon all pales besides the cry this shattering truth wrests from all fellow men, there is more to it than suffering and sounds of suffering, it is a process that only the extinction of a divine soul could terminate. The eye can outstare neither the sun, nor death... if i sought God it was in delirium and in the delight of temptation. The idea of Salvation comes, i believe, from one whom suffering breaks apart. He who masters it, on the contrary, needs to be broken, to proceed on the path towards the rupture. Nothing of what man can know, to this end, could be evaded without degradation, without sin,- is it no burden to bear the repellent scars of abandon, of election?- it leaves but a state of supplication and deserted expanses, an absorption into despair. The existence of things cannot enclose the death which it brings to me; the existence is itself projected into my death, and it is my death which encloses it. Am I deranged? Over and above quietism! Nurtured by the multitude of man's misfortune, a thousand halos like torches in the night of the spirit, a thousand traps, pitalls of brimstone and the empty sky, prostrated face against the earth in frantic laughter... I was beyond withstanding my own ignominy. I invoked it and blessed it. I progressed ever further into vileness and degradation. Am i resurging, intact, out of infamy? Aus Songtexte Mania