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Poor Dave, poor Dave Three months ago his life was a soufflé Poor Dave, poor Dave Number ten was just a Miliband away He banded words with Tony, kissed a baby, stroked a dog Washed up for the WebCameron, and fessed up on his blog Waited, gleaming pink, to take on Brown But suddenly the greasy poles went down You expect a big green medal, As off to work you pedal But that's not the picture chosen for the news For behind you there's a Lexus Using half the oil in Texas SongtexteWith your sandwiches, your cell phone and your shoes Oh it really isn't easy being Dave You have to be so very, very brave Each unheralded event is making him less compos mentis Than a newly fired apprentice, poor old Dave! If, alas, you went to Eton, Be as quiet as Buster Keaton When they talk of education, education If you mention shutting grammars They'll attack with special hammers And shout two words; one ?off?, one ?fornication? It really isn't easy being Dave For politics is more than a close shave I would rather be called smelly, Or throw beans made out of jelly At a cricketer from Delhi than be Dave! William Hague's prospects are sunken, Nobody remembers Duncan-Smith, David Davis hasn't got the knack, You've defeated Michael Howard But you still don't feel empowered, Every sunset you're afraid that he'll come back It really isn't easy being Dave When your predecessor may rise from the grave Every night's another gamble (Yes I know I start to ramble) But I'd rather be Menzies Campbell than be Dave! So in search of propaganda, You head of to Rwanda, While England feels ignored beneath the flood And the disappointed Tories, Still obsessed by former glories, Load their shotguns, start baying for your blood Oh, it really isn't easy being Dave Leading not so much a party, more a rave Full of members who harrang 'em, And then flog 'em, and then hang 'em I would rather be Chris Langham than be Dave! Oh it really isn't easy being Dave It's not a job that any of us craves I would rather drown in slurry Sleep with Edwina Currie Even be a cow in Surrey than be Dave! Poor Samantha, she must worry His replacement (don't all hurry!) I would rather be anyone but Dave! Oh I'm glad that I'm not Dave! Aus Songtexte Mania