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VELMA Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and turn. TRACY Oh my god, Penny, there's Link, Link! I can't believe I'm really here auditioning! PENNY I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition! VELMA Fron't step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and, oh, Amber, look at this motly crew! AMBER Oh, mother not more ancient history! VELMA Oh, my God how times have changed, this girls must be blind, or completly deranged! But, times seem to halt since I won Miss Baltimore Crabs. Amber, that move is far too dirty! AMBER Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930! VELMA You can laugh, but lifes a test! Don't do this, don't do that! Remember, Mother knows best! And the crowns in the valt when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs AMBER With you perfect ammunition. VELMA Let me show you how you Mommy dear Songtextetook out tha competition. Girls, go down, boys lets ramba! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Those poor runner ups mite still hold some grudges They padded their cups But I screwed tha judges! AH! boys, put me down! Oh, good morning ladies, lets see what you got! COUNCIL MEMBERS Twist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mamba! VELMA On my show you'll never find a thrusting hip or bumping bind! AMBER Whats that, a dance for fucking ticks? VELMA Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks! I hit the stage Batons ablaze While belting Aida and preparing SOUFLEES! With that triple somersault As I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs! DANCE BREAK! VELMA Proceed. AMBER Are you scared, we're on live? TRACY No, I'm sure I can cope. AMBER Well, this show isn't broadcast in COUNCIL GIRLS Cinemascope! VELMA I never drank 1 chocolate malt no deserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs! AMBER This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes! VELMA Kid, she'll never get a date with that who-ville nose! I would say OI! guvilut if I wasnt miss baltimore crabs AMBER Do you dance like you dress? LINK Amber, theres no need 2 be creul VELMA wuld u swm in an intergrated pool? TRACY i sur wuld! im all 4 intergration! its tha new frontier! VELMA Not in baltimore, it isnt! and may i be frank 1st impressions can be tough and when i saw u i new if ur size wasnt enough your last answer just blew it! and so mi dear so short and stout ull never be in so were kickin u out! with ur form and ur fate o, it isn't ur falt! just down with a case of ENSEMBLE Miss Baltimore VELMA Crabs! PENNY I think they secretly liked u! LIL INEZ May I please audition? VELMA Of course not but u can bow and exalt for i am miss baltimore crabs! COUNCIL GIRLS crabs, crabs, crabs Aus Songtexte Mania