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Loneliness speaks through my smile It sings the darkest lullaby La, la-la-la, la-la, la La, la-la-la, la-la, la I call a 51-50 on myself That's how you know I need help I call a 51-50 on myself That's how you know I need help Tears of a fallen soldier, rollin' down my face One hand stickin' out of my grave The whole world left me for dead, Michael Jackson's estate But I'm too high, I'll never land A river that knows its source can never run dry That's why I had to cut out the middle man Hate from all directions, assassinatin' my character I felt like Malcom X and J. Edgar Hoover's America I said the truth and I paid for it, I paid for it I got on my knees and cried to the Lord, I prayеd for it I had bounties on my head, when my sistеr was in my home Sleepless nights by the chrome, trigger finger next to my dome Contemplatin' self-destruction, equatin' myself to nothin' Fixated on my regression, I felt like Benjamin Button I collapsed in my depression, I just couldn't write for nothin' When I stared at my reflection, all that I felt was disgusted My confidence evaporated, less than a man, I was emasculated SongtexteI turned to violence to be validated Violated probation again and again My kin and my friends like, "What the fuck, is up with you fam?" Don't you understand? Niggas wanna fuck with you fam But you keep fuckin' yourself and that fucks with your fans Pardon me, my nigga I believed the lie, I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) The pain behind your eyes, tells me that that's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) And it's hard to explain to the people standin' still why you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin' I call a 51-50 on myself That's how you know I need help I call a 51-50 on myself That's how you know I need help (Oh, oh) Do you know what the fuck it feels like to wake up every day in distress? Pissed off at yourself, neglect, so you just lay in your mess And people depend on you, got so much shit on your chest That your train of thought can't seem to find a way to express I found a notebook in my parent's crib from when I was five I went inside and it said "I hate myself", I wannq die, cried I couldn't even fathom the child feeling so lonely So next time a nigga tell you 'bout Vic, say they don't know me I need to be loved, I need to be loved I needed the drugs 'cause I couldn't do it I couldn't do it, I was goin' through it Growin' up I was a product of my biracial confusion Neither black nor white, I guess that makes me translucent I crushed everything I touched I fucked every single slut, I couldn't bust, it was a knot In my stomach, I plummet into my dungeon Down in the depths of my darkness I'm steppin' over my carcass, I'm comin' out of my hatred Tired of my heart bein' vacant I made a promise, won't break it I told my momma we'll make it I told my gang we gon' make it If they won't give it to us, we'll take it One thing that is true is my greatness Promise I won't doubt, I'll believe it I'm exercisin' my demons for the last time Pardon me, my nigga, I believed the lie, I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) The pain behind your eyes tells me that that's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) And it's hard to explain to the people standin' still why you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin' But pardon me, my nigga, isn't this the life you said that you wanted? You know the car's movin' fast, what a view, and the women are stunnin' And it's hard when you're comin' from the bottom tryin' not to become it So I'm runnin' from the absolute savage, that I know I'm becomin' Comin', yeah, ayy Aus Songtexte Mania