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I swear to God they'll probably never understand me Sick of just walking around, pretending I'm happy Feel like collapsing from all weight that I carry But I just keep it pushing and pop me another Xanny Know it's sad but I remember as a kid it was rough Always thought we had it all, what I was missing was love And always drowning in some waters that were thicker than blood Still they wonder how the fuck I got addicted to drugs, damn But they don't get that I'm avoiding feeling pain Only time I feel alive is when there's poison in my veins Momma telling me to look at what I'm doing to myself But I just wanna be fucking happy like everybody else They looking down on me like I'm the fucking villain I don't wanna talk about it, I know they don't wanna listen I was only tryna make up for the feeling I was missing If I'm only feeling pain, tell me, what's the point of living Every day I'm waking up and tryna deal with the stress And I've been acting like I'm happy when my life is a mess And all I know is that I got this fucking pain in my chest And I would love to get clean but I'm too fucking depressed, damn Momma's panicking and losing her faith Came to tell me 'bout a rehab in a beautiful place She said, "Just checking up if you was awake" She broke down when she seen her son blue in the face and thought— No one ever told me it would be this hard SongtexteNever really thought that it would take my life, no I just want the pain to fucking go away, eh, eh, eh-eh Once upon a time we were the happiest couple Knew we always had each other, never had any trouble Always had each other's backs if we happened to struggle I left some people in the past and they were mad that I loved you Said it's only puppy love, I knew that wasn't the case I remember getting nervous when I brought you on dates Conversations 'bout the future and copping our own place Talking 'bout the day you'd be sharing my last name I think I'd loved since the time that we met You had my heart and to be honest you was taking my breath All my homies said that I became a little obsessed Never thought that you would get up and leave me fucking depressed, damn How could you leave me girl, I thought you were the one Treated you like a queen, never lied to you once Now I feel like I'm drowning and there's water filling me lungs I don't wanna be alone, I'm afraid of who I've become You're gone and I fucking hate it, I feel like I'm suffocating You ripped my fucking heart out and never tried to replace it Now when I think about you all I feel is disgust You were all I ever wanted, thanks for fucking it up Everybody that's around me know that something is wrong They always try to tell me love is the strongest drug of 'em all You know what, huh, I'ma go and see for myself Let me pop a couple Xannys, I'ma see if it helps Oh my God, I think I finally feel alive again Oh my God, I tihnk I'm finally 'bout to smile again And I just started sleeping better at night I think I finally found the feeling of what heaven is like They're getting rid of all my stress when I'm torn And I could tell that they're relieving all my pressure for sure Soon my dealer told me that he couldn't get me anymore Now I'm feeling way sicker than I ever did before Shit, I can't even take a brief intermission Without me throwing up or feeling like a piece of me's missing There was a time I needed love, now I need a perscription I'm done with living like this, I'd rather lethal injection 'Cause all I think about is pills when I open my eyes And every day I'm waking up and feeling broken inside When all I really wanted was to feel happy for once But now I'm losing myself and losing my family's trust, damn I really think these drugs have taken my soul Probably pop 'em till they put me in the grave and I'm cold But I can't point any fingers, I know the blame is my own I got addicted to a bitch and that's the fate that I chose [Chorus] No one ever told me it would be this hard Never really thought that it would take my life, no I just want the pain to fucking go away, eh, eh, eh-eh No one ever told me it would be this hard Never really thought that it would take my life, no I just want the pain to fucking go away, eh, eh, eh-eh Aus Songtexte Mania