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Yeah, feels like I’m losin' myself Feels like I’m losin' myself Why am I doomin' myself Yo, fuck did I do to myself? Should’ve been true to myself Dumb to think you woulda helped Dumb to think you woulda helped Feels like I’m brewin' in Hell Feels like I’m brewin' in Hell Can’t be hard for you to tell I'm, stuck in a slump and I keep climbin' up I just turned 25 feels like my time is up Feels like everyone's sus, and it’s harder to trust And I can't shake the gut feelin' Of feelin' like there’s a knife in my gut And that’s a gut feeling when you know deep down That the real person you love is doing you left That’s why I left d on’t get upset when you see me ‘Cause I didn’t wanna give you up And it’s fucked to think for you I wasn’t enough I just wanted your love but you wanted to suck Just some nights I wanna go out and get hella drunk So everything I was feeling could turn into numb Addicted to you, you’re my favorite drug I buy your lies, you’re my favorite plug Sometimes at night I will stare up above SongtexteAnd wish under a star that I wasn’t so dumb Why does it even matter? Shit, I didn’t matter I built up my hope just for it to get shattered I’m always alone with the thoughts that I gather I flip through my thoughts it’s a terrible pattern As if flippin' through 'em will lead me to answers I try to move forward but keep going backwards I hide all my pain behind smiles and laughters When no one knows that I’m a wild disaster, fuck Give my all Oh, I wanna walk away I'm living like a ghost That no one ever knows See me fall Oh, I knew that I would break I'm living like a ghost That no one ever knows I'm, always alone wishin' someone could see me I lay in my bed starin' up at the ceilin' Talkin' to myself until I’m overthinkin' At home all alone, no one knows that I’m weepin' I swear my whole life is so fucking deceivin' And I stand for broke with the cheques I’m receiving My money can’t buy the family I’m needing My money can’t heal the agony I’m feelin' I need someone to love to me, someone to hug me Someone to be there when my mind gets ugly I swear they really think my life is stunning Bro, I come home to absolutely nothing I’m just a lonely guy loaded with money Nobody told me my days won’t be sunny I’m bleeding on people who didn’t cut me So when they leave me, they leave me 'cause their bloody I have issues with women, I’m so co-depended I can’t love myself so I need her to give it And that’s always where my self-worth is depicted And that’s why I date women so narcissistic My mind is a mess and it’s always conflicted And lately, it’s been hard to make a decision And it pains me that I finally admit it I’ve been suicidal and tryin' not to end it, fuck Give my all Oh, I wanna walk away I'm living like a ghost That no one ever knows See me fall Oh, I knew that I would break I'm living like a ghost That no one ever knows I'm, saddened to think people that think that I’m reaching And that is the reason I feel what I’m feeling I may have some fame, but it’s pain that I’m reaping I been praying to God asking Him for a healing Man, I need my mom, I need my dad I need the family we never had Our family’s broken, I’m feelin' hopeless Nobody noticed, I’m in a trance All I have is my daughter, I stare in her eyes And I break down all I do is provide How can I give her a family life, when it’s just me and her every night? Fuck, yo this shit is too much I’m single-handedly killin' my buzz I don’t make music ‘cause I’m in a rut And all of the stress of it is making me numb Why do I dream of a Grammy and winning when I don’t have family to celebrate with me? Look, there is no bullshit excuse you could give me To make me feel like my damn life is worth livin' I swear loneliness is a cancer within me I’m searching for friend's ‘cause my family’s missin' This shit is exhausting, I’m thinking of quittin' And maybe the end for me's a new beginning, fuck Give my all Oh, I wanna walk away I'm living like a ghost That no one ever knows See me fall Oh, I knew that I would break I'm living like a ghost That no one ever knows Aus Songtexte Mania