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Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and turn. Oh my god, penny, there's link, link! I can't believe I'm really here auditioning! I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition! Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and, oh, amber, look at this motly crew! Oh This town has sure gone downhill since I was crowned miss... Oh, mother not more ancient history! Oh, my god how times have changed, these girls must be blind, or completely deranged! But, time seem to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Crabs. Amber, that move is far too dirty! Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930! You can laugh, but life's a test! Don't do this, don't do that! Remember, mother knows best! And the crowns in the vault from When I won Miss Baltimore Crabs These steps are perfect ammunition. Let me show you how you mommy dear Took out the competition. Girls, go get them, boys lets rumba! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, Those poor runner ups Might still hold some grudges They padded their cups But I screwed the judges! Those broads thought they'd win if a plate they would spin in their dance..hahaha..not a chance Boys, put me down! Oh, good morning ladies, lets see what you got! SongtexteTwist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mambo! Ready, begin On my show you'll never find a thrusting hip or bump and grind! Whats that, a dance for flees and tics? Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks! Oh I hit the stage Batons ablaze While belting aida And preparing souflees! But that triple somersault Is how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs! Proceed. Are you scared we're on live? No, I'm sure I can cope. Well, this show isn't broadcast in Cinema scope! I never drink one chocolate malt No desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs! This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes! Ha kid, she'll never get a date Till daddy buys her a new nose! I would say Oy gevalt! If I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs Do you dance like you dress? Amber, there's no need to be cruel Would you swim in an integrated pool? I sure would! I'm all for integration! It's the new frontier! Not in Baltimore, it isn't! And may I be frank First impressions can be tough And when I saw you I knew it If your size weren't enough Your last answer just blew it! And so my dear So short and stout You'll never be in So were kicking you out! With your form and your fate Oh, it isn't your fault! Just down with a case of Miss Baltimore Crabs Ergh you may go Ummm...thank you? I think they secretly liked you! May I please audition? Of course not But you can bow and exalt Cause' I am Miss Baltimore Crabs! Crabs, crabs, crabs Aus Songtexte Mania