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King Henry VIII my father hopedI'd have some Tudor brothersMum had no sons, so rather I got plenty of step mothersWhen at last prince Ed was bornThe crown I bid adieu They said as king he must be sworn Boys go first in the queue But there's no worry If at first you don't succeed When Ed died I swept aside The rest and was decreed Mary the First that's me Tudor lady and queen of EnglandNot to be confused with Mary Queen of Scots Not the same see though weirdly she's a cousin to meSome tried to say Lady Jane Grey Should be queen after Ed But England wanted me hooray So poor Jane lost her head The Protestants were sayingSongtexteThat my ruling made them sick 'Cause when it comes to praying My tastes were CatholicThey revolted, challenged me Fuelled my great desire to tie300 to a stake Light touch paper then retire Mary the First that's me Called the bloody queen of England Not what I intended tried to be good you seeBut history only remembers I was a catastropheMarried Philip King of Spain who then left me England he thought was a pain especially 'Cause he told me to attack France with troopsAnd when the French advanced we lost Calais- oopsThroughout my reign it rained and rained It poured upon the poor The harvest failed no food remained And flu killed many more Burned Protestants and wed a foolLed armies to defeatBurned more Prots, I say more rule Was short but not that sweetI had no kids, called half sis Liz As big queen Bess to be So long as she would rule the landAs a Catholic queen like me Lizzie didn't listen She made the country Protestant Meaning my legacy was ruined See everything I tried to achieve went down the swanny Bit embarrassing really... Aus Songtexte Mania