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Hello, and welcome back to another episode of 'Talking Video Games' We continue today in our series of games with simple plots Guests, please introduce yourselves and tell us the plots of your games I'm the chef from Burger Time! I make-a the burgers! Hello, I'm centipede. I just kinda move down the screen Hey, I'm Snake from Metal Gear Solid. My game's got a pretty simple story Snake, I don't see your name on the list Ah, my friend Cloud Strife told me to come on this show and talk about it... Oh god, no It was the distant future, two thousand and five All I wanted to do was chill out and retire But genetically enhanced, when a case named Foxhound Stole a bunch of nukes and had shit on lockdown Okay we're past our time in this Snake Colonel Campbell said I had to infiltrate Before they started nuclear conflicts What a bunch of jerks! Songtexte You're a bag of dicks I climbed through an air vent and saved two guys They shared top secrets and suddenly died Of two heart attacks right out of thin air All within five minutes! Oh my god, I don't care! Then I met Meryl, a hot box of rocks And I fought a gunslinger named Ocelot But a cyborg ninja cut his hand away You know, normal shit that happens every day Listen Snake, there must have been a mistake On this show you've got to get right to the point of the game Like the ship from Galaga Hi, I shoot stuff in space And this car from Pole Position I'm a car! That's great! You know we've been through this before with your boy Cloud Strife And he talked too long I contemplated ending my life So let's keep things nice and simple like the hero over there From the Atari game Adventure I'm literally just a yellow square! Who cares I tried really hard to find a mech named Rex And the ninja came back in the mix like Chex It was Grey Fox and I fought Vulcan Raven A big motherfucin' Alaskan shaman So I killed that guy but before he died He said Meryl liked me, I almost cried She's a little hottie pants, oo-ee-ya It would be so great if you died right now I killed Sniper Wolf who was absurdly hot And then murdered three guys and an evil robot 'Til Liquid Snake and I were left alone He said that I was his brother and a superior clone Then he died of a virus and thinking fast Meryl saved us I don't give a frog's fat ass Then when saved again until the seven year itch And now you know the simple plot of Metal Gear bitch! Listen Snake I've taken all I can take Just because your game is simple doesn't mean that it's lame Tell the kid from Paperboy Yo, I deliver those papes! The guy from Elevator Action Uh, elevators? Okay! Dear God Why can't I just have a single panel of guests Who can say their plots in forty fuckin' minutes or less Now just watch me sneaker boy you'll make me reach for my gun I'll summarize your game and show you how this shit is really motherfuckin' done! How it's motherfuckin' done! "I sneak around and save ther world. The End." My god, can I get a replacement guest with a simple plot please? Hi, I'm Sora from Kingdom Hearts! No! (Thanks to Marskelletor for these lyrics) Aus Songtexte Mania