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Father worked nights, mother all day There were no gripes, we would all pray We were close knit, it was so strict Well, in most folks, that was O.K. I was so young, pre-first grade Them condone me alone, it was no way But when it overlapped, it left an open gap Call a babysitter, time to go play And she was young too, and it was fun too Get away from her home, so she would come through Out to a neighbor's house, they had the favorite couch That everybody loved, and we would run to But it was uncool, what we would succumb to The shit we did see, becoming numb to This wasn't untrue, what no one knew The shit that she would do to me, nothing else could undo Young and unaware, dealing with the strain There's no reason to lie, cause there's nothing to gain She told me "strip down, no need to feel ashamed" She brought another child, she said "let's play a game" My stomach's in a twist, what you expect? Shit I'm barely 5 or 6, I don't know what sex is I'm giving y'all the truth so I can set it right This is the hardest song I had to ever write All that lays, locked in me SongtexteWasn't mine to hold on to (The hardest song I could ever write) And though it plagues a part of me Don't want to leave, but I got to (The hardest song I could ever write) And the memory, I suppressed it, Depression is what's pressing, that's what the stress did I pushed away any woman I could connect with That's the shit you do when you deal with being molested Infested with impatience I started aching Hatred and deep guilt was the deadliest combination Am I scarred, am I flawed, am I gay then? I've always loved women, that can't be the explanation How do I take the rage, bury it deep inside Cover it with a smile, but eventually it will rise Eventually it will tie a knot in your soul and boast Then you just end up hurting the people you love the most Fuck it! I let it fly, nothing to set aside It's nothing for me to lose, I'm already dead inside Already said my peace a piece of me fled in spite Let's set it right! This the hardest shit I'mma ever write All that lays, locked in me Wasn't mine to hold on to (The hardest song I could ever write) And though it plagues a part of me Don't want to leave but I got to x2 (The hardest song I could ever write) We are the victim of school teachers and cool preachers Youth coaches and catholic priest that do breach us And violated our innocence from within Now, that I'm grown, I know that it pro'ly happened to them A cycle of sickness where the only eyewitness Is so terrified, they rather lie than admit this Or rather omit this, and deal with the strain too But your never truly free until you put this in plain view And I know it's like the hardest thing in the world to do But if you don't, then the person who did it controls you, and owns you But I got my chance to set it right This the hardest song I could ever write All that lays, locked in me Wasn't mine to hold on to (The hardest song I could ever write) And though it plagues a part of me Don't want to leave but I got to (The hardest song I could ever write) Aus Songtexte Mania