Beautiful South (The)

Just a Few Things That I Ain't
When you called me a useless druggieAt least you got half of it rightWhen you called me a hopeless alcoholicI'm only hopeless after nine at nightAnd when I said you came staggering home blind drunkIf I didn't you'd get terrible frightAnd if this is the land of hope and gloryWhere's the land of hope but not quiteI've been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someones binbagBut never been bono or stingHowever I dressed never really impressedSo they never got to hear a damn thingI've been bad man sad man certified madBut never 007 or saintTrendsetter go getter international jet setterAre just a few things that I ain'tThe time you told class I was a half witWas my very first 50 %Previous best in any other testWas either stolen copied or lentAnd when you branded me and every single one of my matesA waste of time and effort to teachWhy d'you give us sums if our only hope was bumsOn someone else's deckchair and beachSongtexteI've been smart arse, mardy arse, on and off a lard arseBut never been a legend to godNew thing dumb thing even last year's thingHeadbang? - not even a nod!I've been left-wing, secure-wing, lost stripes, gained wingedWe've never caused a lady to faintWideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boyA few things they said that I ain'tWhen popularity soared, hometown and abroadI spent most of it trying to breathe inAlways ill at ease, too willing to pleaseAn inferior life's bargain binWhen you come from a background of bargain binsYou're bound to fear it ends where it beginsSo when nation adored we felt more of a fraudAnd too phoney to celebrate winsI've been scruffbag, dirtbag, always someones binbagBut never been Bono or StingHowever I dressed never really impressedSo they never got to hear a damn thingI've been badman, sadman, certified madBut never 007 or SaintTrend-setter, go-getter, international jet-setterAre just a few things that I ain't Aus Songtexte Mania