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Well in 2007 I took a little trip along with my guitar, 'cross the mighty Miss-a-sip And I was headin' out to Cali' for a show or two Well I'd been drivin' for a damn long time my eyes were getting heavy and my throat was dry so I stopped off in this little Texas town for a brew Well every one stared, I don't know why had my aviators on just to shade my eye it must have been the long hair and sandels I had on I just wasn't quite Western enough no boots, hats or buckles or any of that stuff and my t-shirt had some lyrics from a Bob Marley song So I sat at the bar, put my head down low figured just one beer then I would go 'cause I'd never been one to go around lookin' for a fight so I finished the beer put my tip on the bar started making my way out front to the car thought I'd hit the road and everything would be alright Wrong! You know things don't always go as planned you just got to play the cards in your hand and that day God dealt me a two and a seven off suite Songtextewell I'd almost made it to the door then suddenly I found my ass on the floor and I'd looked up to see what I'd gotten myself into He's about six foot five, three hundred pounds it was him and his buddies all standin' around just starin' down at me with this evil look in their eye He said you look like a goddam liberal bastard bet you love Marylin Albright and hate Dennis Thacher and judgin' by the hippy shit you're wearin' I'd say I'm right Well you're an unpatriotic Yankee piece of shit You'll vote Hillary Clinton for president and if you'll step outside I'll knock some sense in your head Things were escalatin' really fast I had to think of something quick just to save my ass so I stood up, brushed my self off, looked at him and said Well I'm an All-American son of a bitch I buy import cars and cigarettes and I buy my lotto tickets from an Indian and there's a Chinese woman cleans my clothes my grass gets cut by Juan and Pablo till the Feds catch up and kick both their asses out Now I'm about as unpatriotic as anybody here and I pointed out his German beer hopin' and prayin' I could make him see the light You see those leather boots are from New Zealand that Swiss Army watch got it's name for a reason Now don't you feel ashamed when people ask for the time? Sir, I'd be glad to step outside and you can look me dead in the eye and tell me where that all-American cowboy hat was made Well I crossed my finger, prayed to God I was right 'cause if I wasn't there was gonna be a fight but he hung his head down low and whispered China Well I caught a little understanding in his eye but the effect wasn't quite what I had in mind 'cause he pulled his Russian pistol and chased me out the door Well I'm an All-American son of a bitch I buy import cars and cigarettes and I buy my lotto tickets from an Indian and there's a Chinese woman cleans my clothes my grass gets cut by Juan and Pablo till the Feds catch up and kick both their asses out Oh yeah, I'm an All-American son of a bitch I buy import cars and cigarettes and I buy my lotto tickets from an Indian and there's a Chinese woman cleans my clothes my grass gets cut by Juan and Pablo till the Feds catch up and kick both their asses out yeah, till the Feds catch up and kick both their asses out Aus Songtexte Mania