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There's a turkey a gobblin' out in the yardNow he's gutted and stuffed and he's basted and charredAnd your father is whistlin' and washin' the blood down the drainChristmas is painThere's a crowd on the hillside with hatchets and sawsWith a keen disregard for the forestry lawsAnd they happily hum while the stumps slowly bleed in the rainChristmas is painAnd the stockings are hung by the chimney with careAs if anyone in their right mind would hang 'em thereAnd some tired old crooner is croakin' out carols againChristmas is painAnd you wait for an hour to see Santa ClausAnd he's covered with velveteen, bourbon and gauzeAnd he pinches your mother and she can't find the words to explainChristmas is painAnd the hungry are hungering on Hunger StreetWhile the people on Plenty Street . . . eatAnd you punctured the roof of your mouth on a sharp candy caneChristmas is painAnd all the good cheer is just Madison Ave..newsSongtexteAnd all the best Christmas songs were written by JewsAnd the eight tiny reindeer have left an embarrassing stainChristmas is painAnd two-thirds of the world doesn't give half a damnAnd the rest are all bloated on marshmallowed yamsAnd if Jesus was here, he'd be sent to the back of the trainChristmas is painAnd they double the price of whatever you needSingin', "I pledge allegiance to corporate greed"And you're forced to spend several hours conversing with your old Aunt Lorrainewho's insanewith a brain on a plane to Spainwhere the main stays rainly in the flat terrainChristmas is pain Aus Songtexte Mania