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White Dude: There's a place between heaven and hell Black Dude: Don't need a map, just follow the smell White Dude: A place filled with filthy air Black Dude: A place full of dark despair Both: A place you have no prayer White Dude: A place called New Jersey Black Dude: SongtexteNew Jersey Both: Jersey, the Garden State Black Dude: There's an exit called the thirteen gee White Dude: Right off the turnpike where it smells just like pee Black Dude: An exit no one dares get off White Dude: An exit where the children cough Both: An exit called Tromaville Tromaville If the pollution doesn't get you, the aroma will Sister: Who will save New Jersey? We're dying for some air There's no hope in New Jersey, Lord Does anybody care? Three: Lord, does anybody care? White Dude: The story we're about to tell you is so disturbing, we've stationed a registered nurse outside in the lobby. Sister: She is armed with a tranquilizer dart gun for those needing sedation. Black Dude: She also has Xanax and Vicatin she got off the internet. White Dude: And please, for the love of God, do not turn off your cell phones. Black Dude: Mm-mm, nah. You're probably gonna wanna call your mama. Three: There's no hope in New Jersey We're hanging by a thread White Dude: We're choking in New Jersey Three: We might as well be dead Sister: Lord, we need a favor We need a savvy savior Three: But who Who Who Who Melvin: I will save New Jersey I'm Melvin Ferd the Third Sister: Not him, Lord! Melvin: I'm here for you, New Jersey On that you have my word There must be a solution To end this damn pollution It's time to start a global revolution Sister, look at what has infested our town! Sister: What is that wretchedness? Melvin: It's waste, toxic waste! The worst problem we ever faced It's sick, God, its sick Look what it did to my measuring stick! Sister: But where did it come from? Melvin: Look there. Across the Hudson River, what do you see? Sister: Manhattan. Melvin: The beautiful, conceited people of Manhattan. Happy to use New Jersey as their toxic dumping ground! Melvin & Sister: Now, listen up Manhattan We know, you're stinking rich Sister: Your bed sheets may be satin But Jersey's not your bitch Melvin & Sister: Jersey's not your bitch! Sister: Bless you, my son. Melvin: And don't worry, Sister. Nothing can stop me! Oh, no. The town bullies! Sarah: God, I love New Jersey It's such a state of mind Why do I love Jersey? Probably cause I'm blind Melvin: Hey, Sarah. It's Melvin. Sarah: Melvin, did those bullies beat you up again? Melvin: Yeah. Sarah: Well, it takes a brave man not to fight back. By the way, have you noticed a new smell in town? Melvin: It's giant vats of toxic, nuclear waste! But don't worry... I swear I'll save New Jersey But how, I do not know We need new air in Jersey And cleaner H2O All: In Tromaville Tromaville If the pollution doesn't get you, the aroma will White Dude: So, there you have it. There will be no intermission tonight. This show is eight hours long. All: Help us win, New Jersey Sister: Help! All: Save us from this goo Black Dude: Crap, I just got scurvy All: Good God, what can we do? Damn it, we're New Jersey We're drowning in the mud Sister: Say your prayer for Jersey All: Or else we're good and fucked Good God, we're good and fucked New Jersey New Jersey Jersey The garden state Aus Songtexte Mania