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He was big for his age, from way out backStrong as an ox, but thick as a plankAnd he couldn't stop wankin' no matter how hard he triedWell, the truth of the matter he didn't try at allKept wankin' away, head bangin' on the wallKept Grandad awake, poor bugger, in the room next doorAnd it wasn't that Grandad didn't mind a wankBut when someone else's wankin's keepin' you awakeYa just gotta have a man to man, ya just gotta have a talkSo Grandad took him out back to the shedThen brung in a goat that he'd specially rearedTo accommodate teenage boys and dirty old menAnd he said, if ya get a good'n, son, ya got it goodIf ya get a good'n, you're doin' fineSo hang on to her with both your hands, don't ever let 'er go'Cause a good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find, sonNow the outback really ain't all that big'Cause word soon spread around about the kidThey called the well-hung young goat-fucker from KalgoorlieAnd when the cops went out to investigateSongtexteThey caught him red-handed, he was fuckin' that goatUp to his nuts, chock-a-block, well and trulyAnd when the coppers tried to drag him offHe just wouldn't let go, he kept hangin' on for lifeThey were bangin' him with batons but they just couldn'tAnd he said to the cop there's no need to be nastyWait your turn, you impatient bastardForm a queue behind me, 'cause she's a good'nAnd if ya get a good'n, son, ya got it goodIf ya get a good'n, you're doin' fineSo hang on to her with both your hands, don't ever let 'er go'Cause a good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find, sonWell, the whole town turned up at court that dayCouldn't fit 'em all in, had to turn some awaySeems everybody in town wanted to be on the juryJust so they could tell their friendsThey were there the day they tried the kidKnown as the well-hung young goat-fucker from KalgoorlieAnd when the judge finally swore the jury inThey brung him up from the cells, and stuck him on the standThen read out the charges that they had against himAnd when they finished readin' all the charges out,The jury looked crook and the judge looked down, saidYa got anything to say for yourself, ya got a reason?Then the kid looked up at the judge and saidI know none of yous'd ever understandWhat it's like living out in the outback on your ownYeah, and I know me goat ain't a proper womanBut she's got great tits and she kisses goodAnd fair dinkum, judge, she'd suck the marrow from ya boneAnd the judge looked down and saidYeah I know'Cause if ya get a good'n, son, ya got it goodIf ya get a good'n, you're doin' fineSo hang on to her with both your hands, don't ever let 'er go'Cause a good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find, sonA good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to findCase dismissed!A good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find, son Aus Songtexte Mania